Sannin Stories
by Sylaxas
Summary: What exactly did the legendary sannin and their apprentices DO during the time skip?
1. Episode 1

Sannin StoriesEpisode 1

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or any of the characters in it.

* * *

One dreary day in the Village Hidden in the Sound, Sasuke was reading a book of random facts in his room.

"Ssssssssasssssuke-kun," two yellow eyes appeared in his shadowed doorway.

"Yes, Orochimaru?" Sasuke said nonchalantly. He was used to Orochimaru's random, creepy visits to his room.

Orochimaru emerged from the shadows, "Watcha doin'?" he asked.

"Reading," Saske replied. "…" He was hesitant to ask what he wanted to ask. "It says here that snakes represented fertility in ancient times. You wouldn't happen to know why, Orochimaru, would you?"To revive his clan, Sasuke would need to make sure his future wife was as fertile as possible.

"How would I know? I'm not interested in women…"Orochimaru said, inching closer to Sasuke.

"What are you doing?" Sasuke asked, noticing what Orochimare was doing.

"…I much more prefer adolescent boys, ke ke ke…" Orochimaru raised his hands, wiggling his fingers. Sasuke, eyes wide, was speechless. But in his mind, he was screaming in horror…

'Not again,' he thought.


	2. Episode 2

Episode 2

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any of its characters.

* * *

"Naruto! Get over here!" Jiraiya shouted. It was a week after Naruto's fourteenth birthday.

"Yeah, Ero-sennin?" Naruto replied. He had walked into the clearing Jiraiya was in by sneaking through the surrounding trees. The two of them were halfway through a four-day journey through a massive forest.

"There aren't any girls-er inspiration in this god-forsaken forest. Naruto, in order for me to finish my book on time, I need you..." Jiraiya took up a pose with one leg up on a rock and one of his fingers pointing to Naruto, "...to pose in your sexy-no-jutsu!" he shouted.

"...WHAT?!" Naruto shouted back. His eyes were popping out and his mouth was touching the floor.

"Please Naruto! It's for the sake of all my loyal readers! Just think of Kakashi!" Jiraiya begged on his hands and knees.

"Oh...alright," Naruto finally gave in.

"Yatta!" Jiraiya jumped for joy, literally.

About a year or two later...

Kakashi was reading the latest volume of Icha Icha Paradise. He was enjoying it, but he couldn't help feeling that the annoying, sexy blonde in the story seemed oddly familiar...


	3. Episode 3

Sannin StoriesEpisode 3

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto nor any of the characters in it.

* * *

In one of the training grounds of Konoha..."Sakura, you've done a good job," Tsunade said. She was impressed. Sakura's training was moving along at a swift pace. She was almost as good as Tsunade when she was her age.

"Now that you've nearly mastered the chakra fist, it's time I told you some of its more...practical uses," Tsunade said.

"What do you mean, Tsunade-sama?" Sakura asked, tilting her head to one side.

The Next Day...

Hello Sakura-cha-" Lee greeted Sakura on the street, but was cut off by...  
"PERVERT AWAY!" BAMF! Sakura had punched Lee's face in, sending him flying.

'As Tsunade-sama said, all men are pigs,' Sakura thought.

Use of the Chakra Fist #1 - to ward off perverts

Thanks for reading. I hope you enjoyed the first round of the sannin's and their apprentice's antics. Stay tuned and review for the next.


	4. Episode 4

Sannin StoriesEpisode 4

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto nor any of the characters in it.

* * *

'That Sasuke,' Kabuto thought as he was walking to Sasuke's room, carrying a tray with a cup of steaming hot, poisoned tea. 'Once I give this to him, Orichimaru will be all MINE.'

He opened the door and walked in, "Sasu-", he started.

"Kabuto, do you know why snakes used to represent fertility?" Sasuke asked. He was holding a book of random facts, crossing his legs together on his bed. 'Is he rocking back and forth?' Kabuto thought.

"Ssssasssuke-kun!" Orochimaru entered the room, smiling his evil smile. Sasuke's face paled.

"Oh, tea! Thank you Kabuto-kun," Orochimaru took the tea from Kabuto's tray.

'Damn it!' Kabuto thought, 'If I stop him, he'll know I poisoned the tea!' Kabuto started to sweat, 'Damn!'

"Ah, nice and warm. Just how I like it!" With that Orichimaru took a sip of the tea.


	5. Episode 5

Sannin Stories Episode 5

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto nor any of the characters in it.

* * *

Jiraiya and Naruto had finally made it through the forest. Too bad they made it out on the wrong end. They were spending the night at a small roadside inn. They'd go back through the forest in the morning

To pass the time, Jiraiya worked on the next volume of Icha Icha paradise. He went in swearch of "inspiration", but all he found was the owner of the inn, a little old lady, and her friends having a pillow fight in her room. Disgusted, he returned to his room, where Naruto was dozing off.

"Hey kid, wake up. I need your help," Jiraiya kicked Naruto's side.

"Not now, I'm tired," Naruto said, waving Jiraiya away.

'Ehh...what am I going to do now?' Jiraiya thought. Desperate for inspiration, he walked through the nearby woods, looking for anything that would inspire him.

After about twenty minutes, he came across a clearing, and in the middle of the clearing was a tree. The tree, with its many grooves and branches, looked like a woman...a naked

woman posing just for him.

Jiraiya stood staring, his nose running and mouth drooling, at the tree for so long that by the time Naruto came looking for him, there was a pool of drool and snot at his feet.

"Ero-sennin, watch out!" Naruto shouted, prepping a rasengan in his hand. Shocked, Jiraiya jumped to the side. Naruto slammed his rasengan into the tree, destroying it.

"Naruto, what did you do that for?!" Jiraiya exclaimed. He was aghast.

"I just saved your life, believe it!" Naruto replied, holding up the burnt remains of a small gardener snake.

"...Naruto!" Jiraiya shouted. "I'm gonna kill you!" he started chasing a screaming and confused Naruto around the clearing.

Meanwhile, a dark figure was watching the two among the trees.

* * *

Dun dun duh


	6. Episode 6

Sannin Stories Episode 6

Disclaimer: I don't Naruto nor any of the characters in it.

* * *

Sakura was in Tsunade's office, cleaning it for the ever-busy Hokage. "Tsunade-sama, what did you want me to do with this?" Sakura asked. She was holding up a thin, lacy red thong.

Tsunade, her face red, said, "Oh that, I'll just take it," she quickly swiped the thong from Sakura's hand. Next, she asked Shizune, who was by her side as usual, to dispose of the incriminating lingerie. 'Thank god Jiraiya isn't here,' she thought.

"Aaaah!" Sakura screamed. She had just moved one of the potted plants. Underneath it was a swarm of cockroaches.

"Quick Sakura! Before they spread to the rest of the office!" Tsunade shouted. This was the perfect time to use...  
Use of the Chakra Fist #2-Pest extermination

"Hyaa! Hyaa! Hyaa!" Sakura screamed, obliterating clusters of bugs per punch.

Fifteen minutes later, when all the cockroaches were dead, Tsunade's office was in shambles. "Good job Sakura. Just for next time, work on your aim," Tsunade commented. Her and Shizune's hair stuck up in places from the wind and noise Sakura had generated.

"Eh, he, he, sorry Tsunade-sama," Sakura apologized.

All of a sudden, a knock came from the office door.

Thanks muchly for reading. Reviews are appreciated. If you could just press that button in the lower left-hand corner...unless of course you're being attacked by mutant penguins. In which case I suggest getting a mutant polar bear.


	7. Episode 7

Sannin Stories Chapter 7

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto nor any of the characters in it.

* * *

Sasuke, laying on his bed in fetus position, tried thinking happy thoughts. Seeing Orochimaru squirm and scream on the floor after drinking Kabuto's poisoned tea might've been even more traumatizing than that time when-

Someone knocked on his door. After two minutes of Sasuke not getting up to answer it, a pair of dark-haired girls entered his room. One was tan and bubbly, the ohter pale and grumpy.

"Why the hell did I have to pick a green straw?!" the pale one complained.  
"Shut up Xeiasslm, someone might hear you!" the tan one chided.  
"Who are you?" Sasuke asked.  
"Oh shoot. Now look what you did, Phoxsia. You woke up the chicken butt," Xeiasslm said, presenting Sasuke to Phoxsia with her hand.

"Oh, you shut up. I don't want to be here much more than you," Phoxsia retorted, her hands on her hips where her ruffly maid skirt started its descent down her legs.

"Yeah, well..." awkward silence. Sasuke stared at the two.

"What are you looking at?!" The two shouted together. Sasuke flinched back, as if hit.

"Sorry, we're your new maids. Phoxsia and Xeiasslm," Phoxsia said, curtseying. Despite her deep hatred of Sasuke, she had enough sense to be polite.

"New maids?" Sasuke asked, confused. "No one told me about this."

"Does anyone ever tell you anything? Xeiasslm retorted.

'She has a point,' Sasuke thought. "So what are you doing here? I thought the maids came after we leave our rooms."

"Yeah, usually, but that's only if we're cleaning. We were given orders to prepare you for some 'training'," Xeiasslm said, making air quotes when she said 'training.'

"What kind of 'training'?" Sasuke asked worriedly, mimicking Xeiasslm.

"The kind where you wear this," Phoxsia said, pulling out a playboy bunny outfit. Phoxsia and Xeiasslm sneaked closer, their hands out.

"Nooo!" Sasuke shouted. He ran for the door, only to find it was locked.

"Sasuke, make it easy for all of us and don't squirm too much," Xeiasslm suggested.

"Aghh" Sasuke screamed.

* * *

Wonder what kind of "training" Orochimaru has in mind...


End file.
